"Sometimes I get the feeling I'm terribly expendable."

Napoleon Solo

"You are."

Alexander Waverly

THE DEADLY TOYS AFFAIR

 

The

TERRIBLY EXPENDABLE

Affair

 

prologue

 

 


April 1974

 

Double-checking the wires attached to the plastique, Napoleon Solo glanced again at his watch. Twenty-two seconds off schedule and still no word from Kuryakin. He observed the second hand slowly tick past each digit and when it hit thirty seconds, he connected the timer to the detonator and laid down the whole lump of deadly explosives to extract his communicator.

"Illya, where are you?" Silence. "Illya, you're late."

The Russian had checked in when he opened the underground vault buried deep under the facade of a bank in southern Texas. They had eliminated the few guards and electronic security systems, but they had only a limited time to complete the mission. Another four minutes and the patrol rotation would bring guards around again and find the vault room unprotected and Illya Kuryakin robbing the THRUSH installation of valuable secrets.

Thirty-seven seconds late. He glanced at the plastic explosive. All he needed to do was set the timer for five minutes -- no, a little more than four minutes now. Simultaneously Kuryakin’s bomb SHOULD detonate. Then the generators and the electronics system would blow simultaneously creating a deadly chain reaction throughout the complex.  In addition, they would bring down the whole operation. The sabotage, however, was a coordinated effort and only one explosion would not be enough to destroy the building.

What if Illya didn't get the goods out of the vault yet? How could he set this bomb while he was uncertain of Illya's success? What if his partner had been caught or wounded?  If he set off his explosives, the automated systems would seal off each floor and immobilize the occupants.  That would trap Illya if the Russian were not at the rendezvous point outside.

Forty-five seconds late. Four minutes and fifteen seconds before planned detonation. If Illya had set the timer, and he went ahead and set his according to the prearranged plot, they would barely make it out of here in time. If he didn't set his bomb and went in search of his friend, would he be blown apart by his partner's bomb? Had Illya been successful, but for some reason unable to communicate? If he set his bomb and left, would he escape just in time and leave his partner to be captured or killed?

Four minutes and three, two, one . . . . Illya was sixty seconds late.

Solo jumped to his feet and sprinted down the corridor without completely thinking through his actions. There would be no time to come back and reset the timer. Leaving the bomb unset meant the mission was already a failure. Was he letting his anxious imagination run wild, or was Illya really in danger? He was throwing away all professional commitment on an unsubstantiated fear. Racing down a flight of stairs and into another silent, empty corridor, he knew he was doing the right thing. The mission was dead. He hoped he wouldn't have to say the same about his partner.

In the vault room, sliding to a halt, his heart was pounding wildly in his chest; the pain a constricting coil of fear that made the throbbing blood unnaturally loud and aching. The guards outside the vault were down, but no sign of Illya. A red light on the panel indicating the vault was occupied told the sickening story. Illya was inside the vault! The security systems must have been triggered, trapping the agent.

Relieved that he had followed his instincts and not set the detonator for his bomb, he removed his watch and magnetically snapped it to the control panel of the thick steel door. Turning the dial, he rapidly clicked numbers until the electronic signal selected the right combination. The huge, metal door swung open to reveal a slumped body on the floor.

Grabbing his friend Napoleon dragged Kuryakin from the little room. The Russian was not breathing! Quickly he pumped the chest on the run until the pale, still form coughed. Stumbling to the floor, sitting his friend up, he rubbed the slender back, hastily returning circulation with hands that trembled from raw dread.

"Illya"

"Ahhh." He greedily sucked in air.

"Did you get the microfilm?"

"Ahhh. Closed," he gasped in air. "Door closed."

The nearby elevator hummed, indicating the change of guards was about to take place. Again Solo had to choose; the mission or his partner. Should he waste these last few precious seconds and try to search for the microfilm they had been sent to retrieve? Alternatively, should he take out the guards and get them out of there before the whole THRUSH defense force came after them? Again making an impulsive decision -- the only choice possible -- he stepped just inside the vault and set the detonator. At least a portion of the mission would succeed by destroying the information. If UNCLE couldn't have the data, then neither would THRUSH.

The elevator doors slid open and, pistol ready, Napoleon shot the three guards before they had a chance to draw their weapons. Gathering Illya up, slinging him over his shoulder, Solo dashed into the elevator and punched the button. They were nearly on the garage level when the building rumbled, the elevator rattling from the explosion deep below. Lights flickering, he waited, holding his breath, until the lift surged upward again.

Dropping his burden to the floor, leaning against a wall, Solo breathed deeply, relief settling into his nerves like cool water over a burning fever. It had been way too close this time. He had almost lost Illya. Again.

"Napoleon?"

Solo crouched down and checked the Russian's pulse, somewhat heartened that Illya's color was returning to normal.

"What?"

"I don't feel so well." 

"Yeah, I believe that." He patted his friend's shoulder. "Just relax. Everything's going to be fine."  The elevator slowed.  He tensed for an armed welcoming committee. 

Shaking his head, the Russian's blue eyes began to clear. "Nooooo. We failed."

Forcing an element of optimism into the reality of the mission outcome, Solo refuted, "Look at it this way. I assured that a highly skilled operative will continue to be an asset to the organization."

The lift eased to a halt and the doors slid open.  No one there, Napoleon assured, then grabbed his partner by the arm and moved as fast as possible through the underground garage.

"I don't think Waverly will see it that way,” the Russian slurred, gulping in deep breaths.  “We're supposed to be expendable."

"I've heard that nasty rumor."

Slipping out a side door they pounded up a set of stairs, Solo grabbed the lethargic man under the arms and impelled him onto the sidewalk.  A getaway car was waiting at the curb and the American shoved Illya into the passenger seat and quickly ran around to get the car going.

Taking long, slow breaths between words, Illya’s eyes were closed and he speculated with a contemplative air.  "Is this the third mission we've failed this year?"

He knew Kuryakin was lightheaded and not thinking clearly after the brush with suffocation, but he didn’t want to address the consequences of his actions right now.  Sharply turning a corner he held onto Illya’s arm, acknowledging it was a tangible connection to the life he had saved.  He would do anything for Illya.  Even deliberately fail.

"Who's counting?"

"Waverly."

Solo sighed in glum acknowledgement. "Well, you're right. Our record isn't looking very good. Too late to worry about it now."

"Maybe we could neglect to fill in a few details on the report."

"Like we neglected to blow up the building."

"Yes.”

“I think Waverly would probably notice.”

He opened his eyes and stared at his partner.  “Notice -- oh -- you mean that we didn’t blow up the building.” Kuryakin nodded resignedly, closed his eyes and leaned against Solo’s shoulder.   “I’ll think of something.  When I feel better.”

Napoleon exhaled, slowly releasing a long, weary sigh. They had survived. His personal mission statement had been achieved: Illya was still alive.  He knew, though, that his superior would not see it in quite that light.

 


 

I

"I'm still on your side."

 

October 1974

 

"Mr. Hendricks is waiting for you in communications. Conference call from New York, Mr. Solo."

Usually Napoleon Solo felt an automatic rush of pleasure when entering the classy foyer of UNCLE HQ Los Angeles.  Disguising the secret entrance to HQ was a clever front known as Westwood Art Rarities -- filled with exquisite paintings, sculptures and furniture. The young, blond, California-tanned female agents/saleswomen were even more rarified than the artifacts that surrounded them in the outer facade. On this drizzly, late October morning, however, he couldn't summon the energy to flirt with the vivacious reception operative.

Coming off a stakeout, chase, fistfight and arrest of a THRUSH agent-turned-burglar, Solo didn't have the energy for much of anything except finding the nearest bed. Dealing with Waverly and what was certainly another imminent assignment was nearly beyond him. Forcing his grimace into something close to his usual charming grin, he winked at Sandy, the receptionist.

Responsively, she returned the flirt with fervor. "I hope you are not going out of town again, Napoleon," she purred his name in a pretty little pout. "The rain's supposed to clear tonight. We're having a bonfire tonight near the pier."

The social scene here on the coast was incredibly energetic, fun and constant. In his condition, the prospect failed to do anything but make him feel even more fatigued. The usual beach activity seemed prosaic right now.

Sandy touched a button and a modern sculpture slid away from the wall.  “When Mr. Waverly calls it’s always something earth-shattering,” she protested sympathetically.

“Maybe,” he confirmed unenthusiastically, not really caring about world shaking assignments or bon fires with beach bunnies.  With a slight wave, he tucked behind the statue and into the interior of HQ.

Unbelievably, he WAS getting a little wanton with living in LA; beach parties, hot nights in Hollywood, the scent of Coppertone and cocoa butter more prevalent than expensive perfume. He never thought he would be so jaded as to wish for something else. No, that wasn't true. He loved the California lifestyle, but didn't like the stigma of demotion from his position as head of Section Two for North America. And what he really disliked, of course, was flying solo again after his partnership with Illya had become such an important aspect of his life.

Long hours and tough assignments no longer held the adventure and sense of righteousness he formerly harbored about his job. These days he felt worn out. Was it because THRUSH was all but a historical footnote? This past year UNCLE -- Solo and Kuryakin specifically -- had managed some key successes that were crucial against the criminal organization. THRUSH Central, the Ultimate computer and the THRUSH Council were crumbling and expected to fall at any time. Some maverick THRUSH remnants -- a few top leaders -- were scurrying around the world fleeing capture and prosecution.

Normally the accolades, the victories, would have been energizing and enhancing to Solo's ego. He had learned, however, that failure/success, happiness/tribulation, always seemed enhanced/tempered with a comrade. A friend. A partner. A valuable lesson he had known for years.  Sadly, in official channels at least, Solo no longer HAD a partner. The spring debacle in Texas had settled that. Split for some months, the former senior agent in New York (that part of his life was also denied him thanks to the Texas mess) had been reassigned to the Los Angeles office. Close enough to all the action to be available on an instant's notice -- far enough from Waverly and Kuryakin to remind everyone how royally he had damaged his career.

Rarely the former partners ran into each other. For the last few weeks, Illya had been in Asia on a mission. Solo worked mostly in various places along the Pacific Coast. The closest they'd been for a while.  In past months, their attentions were separately focused on routing the last remnants of THRUSH from the face of the earth. While their paths crossed occasionally, they were assigned individual cases or, in Illya's case, been given a new partner.

Waverly was not pleased with their performances in a number of affairs the last few years. He had finally decided they were less trouble apart than together and the split had been rather final. That Solo was the one expelled from the halls of King Arthur and Camelot had been a huge surprise to everyone, most of all Napoleon. He wasn't sure what he had expected when Waverly's thinning patience fused with his wrath at the team's failure, but his imaginings had not included expulsion from the pinnacle of UNCLE North America.

Withdrawing his irritated frustration to a distant hollow in the back of his mind, Solo straightened his tie, brushed his jacket, and entered the communications briefing room. Already seated was the head of LAHQ, Grey Hendricks, a tall, lank Norwegian-born man with white hair and a chiseled face. With him were two operatives Solo had come to accept -- tolerate -- in his life: Ian Gryffin-Rhys, a short, slight blond fellow from Britain. His partner, Connor Bakker, a lean, tall Aboriginal Australian.

They were new agents recently brought in from Australia. Diverse in appearance, the rough Bakker and the smooth, cultured Gryffin-Rhys outwardly seemed as opposite as Solo and Kuryakin. Like the American and his ex-partner, these two defied stereotypes and were renowned as a tight, unified team. Like most cronies, they were close, loyal and used to working together.

Apparently, they did not get Waverly's latest memo on partnerships, Solo caustically quipped to himself. Fracturing he and Kuryakin's bond seemed the only target for the head of NYHQ. So there was a natural resentment from him about these agents who were so close -- such obvious and devoted friends. It was irritating beyond words.

"Mr. Waverly is about to come on channel," Hendricks explained after Solo was settled.

The big video screen at the end of the room showed an empty conference room that Solo recognized as the NY office.   Then Waverly moved into the picture, his stern, elderly, worn countenance filled the frame. He announced that there was an urgent mission for them all. An agent was arriving in Honolulu from Hong Kong later that day. He was carrying codes that were vital -- critical -- to UNCLE. The courier MUST, no matter what, and then securely travel to Los Angeles intact. Escort/guard duty belonged to Solo assisted by the other two agents.

“You are to fly to Honolulu and meet with Mr. Kuryakin, Mr. Solo.  Then you are to escort him safely back to Los Angeles.”

Well disciplined in dealing with his superior, Solo's face never reflected the surge of joy at hearing that he would be working with his partner again. No surprise that the sly Russian was in the middle of some dangerous scheme. Like old times. Not wanting to rob himself of a chance to work with his friend again, Solo still asked why the codes couldn’t be dealt with in Honolulu or Hong Kong.  That would certainly be safer than trying to bring Illya across the wide Pacific.

"The Hong Kong and Honolulu offices are small and not equipped for this assignment, Mr. Solo,” Waverly crisply reminded.  “They do not have the facilities for the decoding. Mr. Kuryakin needs to safely reach Los Angeles."

The exotic attributes of Hawaii fluttered in the back of his mind, but Napoleon was more delighted at an actual mission with his partner.  “Of course, sir.”  He almost smiled, wondering if Waverly caught the faint trace of irony in his tone.  So they were asked to save the world again and it had to be handled by the old partners.  Was Waverly irked about the famous team forced by circumstance to work together again?  With an evil glee, he thought that made the mission even sweeter.  

"If Kuryakin is too hot can't he just hand off his information to another agent?" Hendricks suggested.

Waverly explained the key for a THRUSH code had been tattooed onto Illya with a special chemical dye. To ensure there was no possibility of error it was non-transferable, demanding very personal delivery. Only when it reached HQ and a special solution was applied would the tattoo be visible under special lighting. It was, therefore, imperative that Kuryakin safely arrive in LA.

"By the time you arrive back to California with Mr. Kuryakin, our specialists will have the formula there to meet him and help the Los Angeles Section Four operatives decode the message.”

'Leave it to Illya to be exotic and complicated,' he inwardly judged with amusement. Abstractly he wondered what happened to his so-called replacement -- Kuryakin's new partner. He found himself too smug to ask. 'The kid probably got himself killed. It's not easy working with Illya.'

Hendricks assured, “We will have the airport and the neighborhoods here in Westwood Headquarters well guarded," Waverly assured. "We will guarantee Mr. Kuryakin's safety once he lands here."

Waverly listed the names of several UNCLE men and women who had been killed already safeguarding the Russian and the vital information. Even more enemies had gone down in this final conflict. Militant THRUSH henchmen were coming out of the woodwork to stop the information from being decoded. The capture of these powerful THRUSH leaders would end any serious threat of the organization remaining intact. Desperate, they would do anything to keep the information out of UNCLE's hands, and UNCLE had to do everything to get the codes safely to California.

Moments later the TV screen morphed into a split screen with Waverly on one side and Illya, from Hong Kong, on the other. Suppressing a smile of delight, Solo studied his long-distance friend. It was great to see the Russian again. It had been too long since they had enough time to even share a drink. Now they were actually going to be working together.  The American found it impossible to contain the pleasure and allowed a grin to tick briefly on his lips.

Kuryakin seemed to be staring right at him.   Although there was no obviously apparent alteration in his expression, the blue eyes flickered slightly, an imperceptible widening and narrowing. Solo winked. Illya's mouth twitched in a near smirk -- receiving and acknowledging the private signal.  Napoleon sobered again as Waverly reiterated the importance of Solo, Gryffin-Rhys and Bakker to successfully intercepting Kuryakin and escort him safely to LA.  Honolulu escorts would assist, but their numbers were few. The responsibility of the operation rested with Napoleon.

"Mr. Solo, under no circumstances are you to fail in this mission."

"No sir," Napoleon vowed unequivocally. He had more riding on this than Waverly understood. "I'll make sure Mr. Kuryakin is delivered safely."

Waverly glared right at him.  “You, Mr. Solo, and your team are expendable. Mr. Kuryakin is not."

Feeling a little chill of apprehension, he sloughed it off. He didn't want to get superstitious, so he gave a confident wink to a scowling Kuryakin. Illya didn't like those orders either, but they were a mere formality to Solo. Every time they went out in the field, he was ready to protect his partner with his life.  This was just another day on the job for him.

"Understood, sir."

"I don't think it will come to that," the Russian interjected tightly, glaring at him.

Waverly's chilling command lent an ominous shade to the intense moment. "Nevertheless, those are your orders."

The details of the arrangements were made briskly and the communications ended a few minutes later. There had been no personal conversation between them, but Solo felt energized and confident. His partner, at least for a little while, would be his partner again.

 

***

Lurking at the arrival gate, Connor Bakker leaned negligently against a pillar. Deftly avoiding a beautiful native girl from draping a lei around his neck, Kuryakin gave the tall, lanky, Aboriginal agent a curt nod. Tourists crowded the concourse and he adroitly dodged suitcases, boxes of pineapples and tour guides as he made his way through the humid terminal.  Permeating the tropical evening air was the sent of flowers and sea.  Happy vacationers nudged past him and Bakker, who was now following him.

If the operative was here then his constant sidekick, Ian couldn't be far behind. And if this team was guarding him, then where was Napoleon? Would he even see his old friend, or was the American lurking behind the scenes invisibly protecting him? That would be just their luck that they share the same assignment, but never see each other.

Covertly he glanced back; not really surprised that he still had a THRUSH agent following him. Two had dogged him to the plane in Hong Kong, but had been dispatched by an UNCLE woman.  He had hoped it was before THRUSH could find out when and where he was arriving in Oahu.  The enemy, however, was as highly motivated to stop him as he was to succeed.  Knowing his partner was remotely involved, he was confident in the outcome.

Perhaps it was better that Napoleon was not directly overseeing this after all. Things would be ever more dangerous the longer he was out in the open.  He would have much greater peace of mind if his friend were not in the line of fire. As much as he did miss having a partner, he did not miss the anxieties that shadowed him on every assignment with Solo. When they were separated, he worried about his friend, but never had direct on-the-spot knowledge of danger. The relief did not compensate much for his depression at losing his partner, but it did help.

Bakker smoothly moved in close to the THRUSH agent. Whenever the Section Two Number One Russian saw the team from Australia, he felt a pang of -- discomfort. Jealousy, he harshly, bluntly corrected. He didn't envy their proficiency, because they were adequate, if not brilliant agents. He didn't begrudge the closeness they had as partners. Most teams became tightly bonded in their working relationship. That was not unique to Napoleon and him, certainly. What irritated him was that Bakker and Gryffin-Rhys were STILL a team.

At a particularly bleak time in his personal life, Kuryakin was enjoying professional success from his typical skill and acumen. THRUSH was crumbling around them. It had been months since he had been injured. He was spending less time at the office and more time in his apartment. Yet, he had never felt so lonely, because he no longer enjoyed the security and joy found in his former partnership.

The separation had been forecast with forbidding harbingers for some time. The reprimands from Waverly -- the constant lectures about paying too much attention to the safety of the partner and not enough to the mission. The occasional suspensions because one of them -- mostly Napoleon -- could not let Illya remain a hostage; a prisoner, under torture, etc., etc. . . . Waverly finally had enough of the stress and split them. They hardly saw each other, though they did transmit on a private channel frequency Illya had designed into their communicators.

So when he glanced at Bakker, then moved along, he saw what he wanted out of life and what was denied him. He resented the team he occasionally worked with, and it certainly irritated him that within hours those two would be debriefing over dinner together. While he would be locked in a secure room in Los Angeles with a group of scientists and his former partner would probably be flying off to some far quarter of the world.  Or living it up in his LA apartment with the date-of-the-night.

How different things were now than they had been at the beginning of his career.  'Be careful what you wish for,' came a silent, caustic, unbidden warning. In the early years of his tenure with UNCLE he had not wanted anything to do with a partner. After a few successful missions with Solo, Illya had gradually appreciated a working teammate. Years later he found he could not -- did not want to -- go without having his partner beside him. Napoleon had become his lifeline, his ally, and his brother-in-arms.

When their mission achievement rates declined in proportion to the mutual life-saving necessities, Waverly threatened them with dissolution. They acted as their consciences dictated and continued putting their partner's life ahead of duty. Inevitably, the dreaded split that they had been warned about came to pass. Knowing it was coming -- bringing it upon them -- did not help ease the distress of the separation.

His morose, sullen traits, long dormant, surfaced and he became a lone wolf stalking the halls of NYHQ. Rumor had it Solo's reputation had suffered little. Constantly the California beauties easily attracted to him surrounded the American and there seemed little change in Napoleon because of the split. Only a few stray hints from office gossip, occasional words dropped here and there, clued Illya in to the truth. Solo was as affected as he -- efficiency down, motivation low, skill level dropping. Couldn't Waverly see they were at their best when together? Apparently not.

"Your connecting flight's been delayed." Bakker walked nearby for a moment. "We have a place for you to wait in safety."

Connor's Australian accent was thick and casual. As handsome as a movie star, the new operative was young, ambitious, and topped the list of most eligible bachelor down under. The senior member of this new, hot team was also making it clear he wasn't going to stop until he reached the heights of UNCLE hierarchy. Another threat to Solo's career. Connor was, more importantly, a skilled operative and Illya was professionally glad to have him in on the assist. If he couldn't have his partner as literal back up, Bakker and Gryffin-Rhys were good seconds, but their partnership still irritated him.

Snapping his mind back onto the mission and not his personal grievances, he muttered, "You know I've acquired a shadow," Kuryakin reported as he walked by the agent and continued on.

"Yes. Head for the street level."

Moments later a crash behind him startled all those in the area and Kuryakin glanced back to see Bakker and the THRUSH agent trailing Illya had collided with a vending cart filled with pineapple. Smiling, the Russian weaved his way through the thick crowd toward the escalators to the next terminal on the lower level. As he passed a maintenance door he was suddenly grabbed and thrown into a service corridor.

Rolling, he came up in a fighting stance, Walther drawn. He froze when he saw the man with hands raised in surrender was his partner. No matter where they were in the world, or their official status, Napoleon Solo would always be his partner.

The dark-haired agent grinned. "I'm still on your side."

"Napoleon!" Impulsively he rushed forward to shake hands, but Solo threw his arms around him in a quick, but warm embrace.

"Good to see you, Illya." He ruffled the blond hair. "You're looking well."

"It is wonderful to see you, my friend." Kuryakin diverted his attention to Gryffin-Rhys for a moment to shake the younger man's hand. Trying not to grin like a fool, he turned back to Solo, thoroughly delighted to be reunited with his friend. "It is good to be working together again."

"Yeah, just like Lennon and McCartney."

Shaking his head, Illya's twitching smile was as wry as his tone. "Are you trying to fit in with the youth crowd in California? The Beatles broke up, remember?"

Solo waved away the trivia. "Anyway, this is a nice surprise, isn't it?"

"When you didn't meet me out there I thought --"

"Ah, to some, we're still too well known as a team, tovarich. Best we aren't spotted together by our feathered friends. Speaking of that, where's your new partner?" Derogatory sarcasm was clear in both tone and expression.

Illya didn't bother hiding his delight. "He did not have the nerves for field work."

"Or working with you in the field?" the dark-haired agent grinned snidely. "I can't wait to hear this story."

Bakker called then on the communicator. The THRUSH agent was out and no longer a threat. Connor did, however, detect an accomplice heading toward the gates for Illya's soon to be departing flight. Ian suggested he help check the rest of the terminal for suspicious characters. He and Bakker could move around more freely -- they were new to the island and were not as well known as the two veteran agents.

Making themselves comfortable on some lounge chairs in the maintenance office after Gryffin-Rhys left, Solo briefed his friend.  “You were booked on American until our feathered friends showed.  Five-0 is covering the United terminal.  They think it’s clear, but Connor and Ian need to make sure.”

“Then the plane was sabotaged?”

"We don't think the mechanical difficulties are caused by nasty birds, but just to be safe we're rerouting to a different flight."

"WE? You're coming on the plane?"

"All the way across the big blue Pacific." At the Russian's frown, Napoleon insisted, "That's supposed to make you feel more secure." Mock-injury tinged his expression and pouting tone. "And cheer you up." He feigned injury. "I'm wounded."

"More than anyone else, Napoleon, you know I wish you as my back up." Subconsciously he rubbed his forearm. "But not for this. The stakes are higher than ever. That makes our enemies more desperate and dangerous."

Solo placed a hand over his heart. "I believe you've lost faith in me, partner."

"No," Illya quickly reassured. "This is so vital to the complete destruction of THRUSH. More important than what we have handled in a long time. Everything must go right." He rolled up his sleeve to reveal several Chinese characters tattooed on his right forearm. "Are you aware of the process?"

"Sure, super spy stuff. Special ink, codes, formulas," Solo shrugged, striving for nonchalance. "We've done this a hundred times."

"Not like this. This is an amazing breakthrough -- a complex composite of chemicals balanced with skin and sweat and blood.”

“Yuck.”

“They could cut off my arm and it would alter the delicate balance of chemicals.  It would be useless to them."

Napoleon gently smacked Illya's arm. "Being on your own is bad for your mental health," he chided sharply. "Reverting to your dark, pessimistic nature. See what happens when you're away from me for too long?"

Illya's features darkened. "They will use any means to destroy us." He stared at the floor, conflicting emotions making the moment more difficult. "Perhaps, in this case, Waverly was right about our partnership being a liability. Nothing should prevent us from safely delivering the codes."

Sharp offense made him bark out a denial. "You think I can't handle this --"

"On the contrary." He stared at his friend, eyes openly reflecting anxiety. "I'm afraid you will do anything -- everything -- to protect me."

For a moment Solo held the gaze, and then lightened the mood by winking. "I'm going to make sure you get to LA without as much as mussing a hair on your head. I promise you that." He made a sign of crossing his heart.

Kuryakin's grim expression confirmed he was not buoyed by the vow.

Making a sour face, Solo ignored the brooding mood. "Then Waverly will owe us," he airily suggested. "Do you know how long it's been since we've had a vacation?" His eyes narrowed as he sternly admonished, "Now, no more negativity. I've got a few ideas for getting you to LA without a scratch."

Solo revealed some ideas and the former teammates chatted about the mission, going over possibilities and options. Frequently sharing thoughts and plots, completing each other's sentences, they both relaxed perceptibly. Talking through numerous alternatives, they finished when Solo laughed out loud after Illya joked he would rather they give the assignment to the other crew and make a quick dash for Disneyland.

Grinning contentedly, Solo leaned back on the couch, gratified and pleased with his existence for the first time in a while. The situation was life threatening and dangerous, but his anxieties were minimal. This all felt so right, so natural, working with Illya again. This was the way it was supposed to be.

"I wish this could last," the Russian sighed, voicing his friend's thoughts.

"Me, too. It's not the same without you around, Illya. When I work with someone else --"

"They don't have the right timing."

"Or cunning."

"Or wit," Napoleon smiled. "And strange partners never let me get away with anything."

The blue eyes growing dark with displeasure, he scrutinized his friend. "Perhaps, if we ARE on our best behavior, Waverly will put us back together after this assignment." His eyes narrowed. "This situation is precarious. I just hope --"

"Uhuh, you aren't about to jinx our endeavor, are you?"

"No," Kuryakin sighed, sealing his lips tightly.

Napoleon silently ruminated that sacrifice was a common theme reenacted once too often between them. With the downfall of THRUSH things seemed less critical and separately Solo and Illya had managed to stay alive and mostly complete tasks without major problems. He expected the good luck to see them through this vital, perhaps last mission against THRUSH. Ominous chills slithered across his shoulder blades, a doomed foreboding of the peril ahead. Not a premonition, he hoped, of failure or fatality. He had a lot more of living to do and he wanted his partner to be around to share it.

"I'll be on my best behavior."

"That will be difficult," automatically came the wry quip. Illya sighed again.

Solo studied him closely. "What's worrying you?"

Scoffing, Kuryakin scowled. "Strange how defeating THRUSH has always been our primary goal." He rubbed at the tattoos on his skin. "Now their imminent demise is a means to an end."  His face was intently somber. "We must prove to Waverly that we are better together than separate. But to do that we must perform this daunting and very menacing task."

Tapping his arm, Solo's casual shrug belayed his trepidation. "Which will be no problem."

"Please try to be prudent," the Russian urged somberly. "Don't recklessly endanger yourself."

"Promise. Anything to convince Waverly."

Footsteps scurried toward them and Ian rushed into the room. "We've spotted enemy birds monitoring all flights to the mainland. That includes charters. We've got to think of something else." He wagged his communicator. "Connor thinks we can get past one of them quick enough to make the United flight we talked about. Leaves in twenty minutes. "

"Try another airport?" Illya suggested.

“Take a boat over to Maui and leave from there?” Ian suggested.

“Already thought of that,” Solo grimaced.  “Five-0 says some suspicious lurkers are watching the exits."

Solo thought fast. The imperative was to get Kuryakin off the island quickly.  The longer they stayed the more THRUSH could marshal forces against them.  Glancing at Ian Gryffin-Rhys, he instantly formulated a plan involving the slight, blond agent. Quickly he outlined the plot to them all and called Bakker to meet them immediately.

"You and Illya are going to need disguises," he finished, and then signed off. He pilfered Kuryakin's dark sunglasses from the agent's jacket pocket and gave them to Gryffin-Rhys, then took the raincoat off of the Russian, fitting it onto the Englishman. "We're going to make a switch."

When Bakker arrived with a small assortment of jackets he was brought up to speed on the plot. While the agents changed Solo explained that Connor and Illya would don disguises. Ian would impersonate Illya, with he and Solo traveling together. The four would take the same plane. Any THRUSH agent would automatically assume Solo and Kuryakin were teamed.

"I don't like it," Bakker instantly refuted. "My lad will be a target."

Solo favored his partner with a smirk. "Do you remember the little Corporal's winning strategy? Two words." It was a rhetorical aside. The blond often teased his friend about the historical namesake being defeated by the Czar; both knew Bonaparte’s Russian campaigns by heart. "Divide and conquer."

"Do you remember the result of his over confidence?" Kuryakin darkly accused without waiting for a reply. "One word. Waterloo."

"Do you have a better idea?" Solo glared at the others, ending with a speculative glance at his friend. "Our assignment is to get the codes and the courier safely to LA."

"THRUSH could put a bomb on the plane and kill us all."

Solo glared at the tall Australian and countered that he doubted the enemy would do that for several reasons. One, there wasn't the time. Two, it was so self-destructive. Three, they had to get Illya quickly and safely across a big ocean.  They couldn’t accomplish that sitting in Honolulu.  Their best bet was to move fast before THRUSH could devise elaborate plans like killing them in the sky.  But, he couldn't promise anything. He did know that he refused to allow Kuryakin to take a flight with only one agent guarding him. The risk for all traveling together seemed the only course.

The young, thin, blond Brit made a face. "Quit being over-protective, Connor." To the senior agents he embarrassingly admitted, "Connor thinks he's my big-brother protector. I can handle a little role-play, mates."

"Just what Solo's trying to do, protect his pal," Bakker insisted with an edge in his tone.

Napoleon nearly growled. "I'm trying to close the books on the last leaders in THRUSH. What's your goal?"

"To keep my lad safe."

"He will be." Closing the distance, Solo came right up into the face of the taller, aggravated agent, commanding the respect natural to his position as senior agent and former head of Section Two. "I'm trusting you to do your job to fulfill the mission and protect my partner."

Bakker didn't flinch, didn't blink. "As much as I trust you?"

The tall man moved away to confer with his friend.

Illya grabbed Solo's arm and steered him out to the hall. "I don't like this."

"Bakker is fine --"

"I'm talking about you!" he snarled under his breath. "You're making yourself a target for me!"

Solo studied the blue eyes that were steadfast with familiar ire. Kuryakin hated being left out, hated being protected. Using the objective as an excuse, this was one time when Napoleon could both fulfill his mission and personal goal -- concluding the mission and keeping his friend safe. He wasn't worried at all that he would succeed. For once his motivations were perfectly in tune. That it caused his friend anxiety was understandable and he sympathized, but it didn't change his mind.

"It will be fine, Illya. We'll pull this off and Waverly’s faith in us will be restored. I bet we can name our price." He grinned, offering his most charming expression and tone. "Trust me."

"To be your normal reckless self? That is hardly comforting."

"Can you think of a better plan?"

"Yes. We all disguise ourselves and board the plane."

"Then there's more of a chance you'll be caught. Remember your Poe. Hide in plain sight. It's your best security."

"This is just what I was worried about.  Protecting me at your risk.  I hate it," he claimed darkly, firmly. "It is one of your worst plans."

"Thanks.  But we're going with it." Aware he needed to smooth out the rough feelings -- he hated friction between them when embroiled in hazards -- he calmly explained, "Look, I'd much rather play bodyguard for you, tovarich, but we're too well known. Separate paths now will ensure your safety."

"You will be in grave danger."

"Nothing I can't handle. Have a little faith, partner."

Ian poked his head out of the office and urged them to hurry, there wasn't much time. Bakker and Gryffin-Rhys had already started the slighter man’s transformations. With the help of Ian's kit that he had thoughtfully brought along, he was able to lighten his hair to match Illya's exact blond shade. Then the Russian trimmed some of his hair to make a fake mustache for himself, and broodingly folded his longish mop under a sporty hat.

Illya and Gryffin-Rhys had exchanged their raincoats and the Brit finished the masquerade by donning the dark glasses that were a Kuryakin trademark. At a slight distance the switch could fool anyone who knew the Russian. The American gave his approval and urged Bakker, then Illya, to be on their way.

The Aussie paused to say a few quiet words to his friend. Napoleon squeezed Illya's shoulder. "If trouble looks like it's headed your way, call." He patted the Russian's pocket that held the communicator. "Don't worry; I'll have my eye on you the whole flight."

"It's not me I'm worried about," he confessed glumly. "Napoleon, if something goes wrong --” He grimaced, then sighed with frustrated irritation. "Don't you understand?"

"I do," Solo replied sincerely. "I've never been quite in your position like this, but I know I would hate it."

Kuryakin confirmed with a tight nod. "Don't do anything to make me feel too guilty. And I suppose it is useless to ask you to be careful."

Genuinely touched and feeling way too emotional for the peril they were about to face, he simply offered a reassuring grin. He had to completely focus on the task, but felt there needed to be some closure with his friend. "I'm always careful." Kuryakin coughed and he ignored the rude sarcasm. "But I promise no unnecessary risks. I want to get this over with and get back to the way life is supposed to be."

Darting a glance at the other agents, who were now waiting at the door, Kuryakin lowered his voice and moved close to his friend. "If you did something foolish while protecting me I --" he sighed heavily. "I will never forgive you."

Napoleon patted his back and gently propelled him forward. "I'm properly chastened," he whispered wryly. "Remember to stay behind us when we get off the plane. Don't let anyone get too close. Bakker will be your guardian angel." He backed away and gave a nod to Illya, then the Aussie. "Good luck, gentlemen." He brushed at the collar of his suit coat, straightened his tie, and gave Ian a confident nod. "Show time."

They left first, the second team following a few minutes later. When they reached the gate the flight was already boarding.  Steve McGarrett stood nearby in the doorway of a duty free shop.  He nodded toward two men taking interest in them as they passed through the gate.  Solo acknowledged the silent warning and proceeded, feeling chills of apprehension flitter along his spine as he turned his back on the enemies.  Trusting completely in his old friend McGarrett was not a problem, but it was difficult for him to relinquish his own life and Illya’s to someone else.  He was surprised Kuryakin betrayed no sign of such anxiety.  Perhaps because the Russian was so worried about him.  Always a two-way street that dilemma. 

Settling in on the plane, he noted Illya and Bakker took their seats. Just before the doors closed one of the suspicious men interested in Solo and his companion rushed aboard. He cast covert glances at the American and supposed Russian several times. He never took any interest in Kuryakin farther back on the plane. Smugly pleased with himself and his plan, Napoleon pretended to nap as they winged their way east.

 

II

"Time for theatrical melodramatics."

 

 

'Appearances can be deceiving.'

The first letter of the law in the espionage code. The phrase had never been more abundantly clear to Napoleon Solo than it was now. Sitting in economy class on the jet speeding it's way to the west coast; it appeared that he was sitting next to his partner. The slight blond man with dark glasses was slumped down in the seat pretending to be asleep. Right build, right hair, right look. Everything was right except that it was not his partner at all.

At the end of the day Ian would return to his partner and Napoleon would return to being a solo agent. A status he once prized and now decried.  On the same plane, but he did not dare contact with his closest friend. Irritating. He would like nothing more than to go confer with his comrade, catch up on news, gossip, and share some memories. Or simply indulge in comfortable silence. Instead, he had put his closest friend's safety in the hands of a stranger.

For some reason he thought being with a look-alike would be a reflection of old times. He could not have been more incorrect. Gryffin-Rhys was taciturn, sober and completely business. Very similar to the original Kuryakin in the early years.

The facade was similar, but the counterfeit agent was just -- different. While setting up this mission their thinking didn't align, the approach to the job vastly different than Illya’s would be. When he tried to initiate small talk for the sake of appearances, Gryffin-Rhys shut him out, telling him he had no interest in conversation. So instead of being amused or friendly, Solo was irritated.  How could this unsociable guy have an outgoing, protective friend like Bakker?

And later?  There was little possibility that he would even be able to talk to Illya once this was completed. They had discussed the hope of reuniting, but they always did. Back at HQ Kuryakin would be decoding the cipher -- probably for days with the Section Four cryptographers. By then Solo might be on another continent. Well, maybe they'd see each other at the annual Christmas party. How long could Waverly keep them apart?

 

***

 

Upon debarking Solo and Ian made a brisk pace through the terminal of LAX. They picked up two THRUSH agents and possibly one more approaching in front of them. A pincher move. From the corner of his eye he saw Bakker and Illya. They were making their way to the exits. An UNCLE car and security teams would be waiting for them. In just moments they would be safe.

"All seems fine," Ian commented easily. "Three villains approaching us."

Solo saw one of the enemy stop and study the disguised Kuryakin. "Trouble," he muttered angrily under his breath.  Then from out of nowhere a tall, burley man zeroed in on the Russian. Solo thought he saw the gleam of a knife in the man's hand. "Time for theatrical melodramatics. Follow me."

He forcefully bumped into the tall man, grabbing the knife hilt. Powerfully resistant, the man slashed out, connecting with Solo's arm. Relaxing, he feigned serious injury and caught his opponent off guard. With a savage twist he cracked the bones of the foe's hand, and then shifted the knife into his heart.

It all happened in a matter of seconds. The other three armed THRUSH were still converging on the group. Kuryakin and Bakker were too close. Throwing down a woman loaded with luggage, Solo grabbed Ian's arm and collided with the nearest oncoming enemy agent before the man could aim or fire the weapon his hand.  Stumbling to his feet on the run, he grabbed Ian again and rushed toward the exit doors. Turning, he took quick, but careful aim and popped off several shots at the THRUSH men. With a quick glance he confirmed all remaining THRUSH were now in pursuit of him and Ian. Four known UNCLE colleagues from Solo’s LA office were now approaching Illya --an irate, scowling Illya. So Kuryakin, and the codes, were in safe hands.

Satisfied, Solo ran through the crowd without looking back. Once outside he leaped into the driver's seat of the first taxi cab and pushed the driver out, screeching away with his decoy associate.  An LAPD officer on the sidewalk shouted at them.  Before they reached the next lane a brown sedan chased after them.  Almost instantly Ian's communicator beeped and Gryffin-Rhys answered it. No surprise, it was an irate Bakker on the other end. The Brit did a good job of calming down his partner as Solo careened toward the San Diego Freeway, making sure the car tailing them was close enough not to get lost.  After a few choice curses Bakker demanded Solo not get reckless with his partner. It was all right to return to HQ. Kuryakin and he were fully protected.  Napoleon, clutching at his sliced arm, assured everything was under control. He promised when he got the word that Illya was safely back at UNCLE he would lose the tail and they would return home. Until then he would take his decoy job seriously.

"Where is Illya now?"

"In the car ahead of me. He's safe, Solo. Just make sure you take care of my lad."

Refusing to allow his irritation to show at being issued demands by a junior agent, Solo merely reiterated that he was just following through on the plan. Everything was going to be fine.

  

***

 

Entering the front door of, Westwood Art Rarities, Illya Kuryakin released a small sigh of relief. He had no doubt his partner's decoy plan was a good one. He never had a concern that Solo would accomplish his duty of protection and deception. Still, considering the incredibly vital codes he carried, it was nice to be within the safety of LAHQ.  Now, however, he had nothing else to worry about but Napoleon's reckless tendencies to get carried away with heroics. Perhaps he should signal his partner again and let him know all was well. Napoleon was not answering his communicator. Did he imagine it, or had Napoleon been hurt in the fight at the airport?  Several Section Four agents met him in the corridor and escorted him to cryptography.  Surprisingly, Mr. Waverly was there to meet him.

“Hello, sir.”

“I came with the cryptography team,” he explained tersely.  “Shall we begin.”

It was not a question.  Illya fractionally hesitated, longing to wait for word on Napoleon.  With the boss caught up in the urgency of beginning on the path of destroying THRUSH, he thought this might not be a good time to balk and publicly voice concerns about his ex-partner.  Waverly would just tell him that Solo and Ian could take care of themselves. With an internal sigh of frustration, Kuryakin decided not to call Solo again, but decided to wait for Connor Bakker to arrive with the second escort team.  That determined in a few seconds of introspection, he offered his superior a curt nod.

Just as they were entering a lift Bakker arrived.

"Everything all right?"  Illya didn’t like the strained look on the Aussie.  He looked like he was about to explode with tension.  Had their partners gotten into trouble?  “Did you hear from Napoleon?”

"They should be arriving soon." Connor replied tightly. "A support team is intercepting them. Solo's leading the birds on a merry chase. He better know what he's doing." He scowled at the slighter Russian. "He refuses to end the games until he hears you're through the doors of headquarters."

Then he was all right, Kuryakin mentally groaned with tempered relief. The unwelcome news that his friend was still playing fox to the baying hounds of THRUSH irritated Illya nearly as much as Bakker, though he would never do anything but loyally defend his partner against attack -- even from colleagues. "Napoleon knows what he's doing. Your partner is safe."

"He better be."

Angry and unsettled by the bald threat, he pulled out his communicator as he moved along the hall.  Ignoring the glare from Waverly, using their private channel, he tried to contact his friend again, but there was still no reply. Refusing to reveal the extent of his concern, he slipped the silver pen back in his pocket, assuring Bakker that they were probably too busy to respond. The Aussie vowed to keep attempting contact.

Aware Waverly was impatiently waiting in the elevator, Illya quickly instructed, "Let me know when they arrive.". He wouldn't feel calm, either, until the two decoy agents were within the protected walls of HQ.

 

 

III

"Partners!"

 

The process of decoding the ciphers was surprisingly simple. The chemical rubbed on his tattoo was cool and slightly pungent in odor. Fascinated in spite of himself, the Russian was soon caught up with the fascinating procedure.  Small, once invisible characters that appeared like magic on his arm next to the boldly tattooed drawings. Equally enthralled, the cryptographers were soon absorbed in the amazingly clever coding technique, while the scientists were excited about this wonderful new method of secreting messages on courier's skin.

Waverly had disappeared long before to evaluate the data and start operations on closing down THRUSH because of this vital information.  By the time he was finished Illya was starving. It was well past time for a coffee break his stomach told him. He checked his watch And realized he had been ensconced for hours! How had time flown by so fast? Where was Napoleon? Why hadn't Bakker called him when Solo arrived? Had Waverly captured the other agents in debriefings this long? Perhaps Napoleon had been hurt -- worse than he had thought -- by the attacker at the airport. Was he in the infirmary? He hastily bid the others farewell and quickly went in search of his former partner.

The buzz in the halls told him more than he wanted to know.  Nerves crawling, he understood from the murmurs -- from the looks cast his way -- that something had gone wrong with the decoy mission. Hurrying to the main communications center, a grave Waverly and an irate Bakker glanced at him when he came through the doors.  Waverly seemed to move slowly, his age increasingly catching up with him.  For the first time Illya wondered if the old man was going to live long enough to take down his arch enemies.

 "Someone is highly motivated to retrieve that information you brought back, Mr. Kuryakin," He somberly reported.

Curtly cutting to the relevant facts, the other operative shot out a scathing condemnation. "Ian and Solo are missing. We've lost signal with Emerson and Wong, the two agents acting as their security escort." Bakker glared at Waverly, then narrowed his eyes and seared Kuryakin with wrath. "Ian's last transmission indicated they were ambushed," Bakker snapped before Kuryakin had a chance to voice his concerns. "I've been searching for hours!" The tone was harsh and accusatory, the agent's manner boldly confrontational. "They're on the streets somewhere wounded. Or worse! No contact!" Teeth ground together as he attempted to leash his raging emotions. "If anything's happened to Ian your partner is going to --"

"That will be quite enough, Mr. Bakker." Waverly speared them both with glaring dagger-eyes. "Partners! Your lot makes me wish to the devil I had never instituted partnerships!" Shaking his head in true anger, he singled out the younger operative. "Mr. Bakker, you will take a team and continue the search. Please try to contain your emotionalism, it will do you no good in your mission."

"Sir --" Illya was interrupted by his superior.

"No, Mr. Kuryakin. You will remain in headquarters."

"I could be of assistance, sir. My job here is done."

Waverly glanced up at the heavens. "You might very well still be a target, Mr. Kuryakin."

His resolve was certain. "I'm willing to take that chance, sir."

"Very well.  Keep in touch with communications. I don't want the two of you missing as well. We have effectively destroyed THRUSH tonight, gentleman. I will be sending field agents out to sweep up the last of the leaders and their few minions. In future our jobs will be different. You are to be congratulated. Do not let sentimentality diminish your part in this historic occasion."

Neither agent responded, but Illya knew the accolades were as empty to him as they were to Bakker. They weren't seeing the big picture of destroying their long-time enemies and sparing the world from evil. They were focused on the small universe of two missing partners. If something had happened to those close friends then what would the rest of the world matter tomorrow?

Stopping in the communications lab, Illya picked up a small, hand-held receiver that should pick up a signal from Napoleon's ring/transmitter. As they left the underground parking lot, Bakker driving their UNCLE vehicle, he knew Bakker blamed him nearly as much as he blamed Napoleon. In part, he supposed some of the responsibility was his. It was because of him that the decoys had been put in the path of danger, wasn't it? And what had happened to their respective partners? What sometimes happened to decoys. They were doing their jobs too well.

  

IV

"Where else would I be?"

 

Another UNCLE team found the wreckage. When Kuryakin and Bakker arrived in the run down LA suburb of Inglewood, the stolen taxicab was smoldering, firemen watering down the remains. The cab and another vehicle had collided in a narrow street lined by mostly deserted brick buildings. An ambulance had already taken three bodies to the hospital. One sounded like it could be Ian. Two others were Asian and obviously not Napoleon. The two enemy operatives from the airport.

LAPD officers demanded a full explanation of their interest in the wreckage.  Offering their ID did little to appease the police.  Officers were also interviewing the few neighborhood people. The witnesses couldn't agree on what they saw or how many men staggered away from the wreck. Illya didn't have time for that irrelevance.  He requested they be allowed to search the area for their comrades. .Glaring hatefully at him, Bakker curtly informed he was going to the hospital, leaving him with the explanations.  Finally Illya was released and started scouting the area on foot.

Using the receiver to follow the ring signal, Illya was disturbed that the transmission was weak. That might mean the ring was damaged -- along with it's owner. Taking to the streets, Kuryakin relied on his instincts, his knowledge of his partner, and the unflagging optimism that he alone could find his friend better than anyone else -- find him alive.

At the corner of one street leading into a deserted, run-down old neighborhood, Illya spotted something shiny off to the side of the curb. Heart cringing, he recognized it as Napoleon's pistol. It was dark and slippery with blood and he gulped down a knot of rising fear as he checked the clip.  Nearly empty from the light weight.  Napoleon had put up a fight.  He slipped it into his pocket, then checked the electronic signal. It started growing slightly stronger as he cautiously entered the empty street.

Gun hand relaxed, ready for action in an instant, Kuryakin stayed in the shadows as much as possible. The wet glistening of blood pools; scarlet smudges shining in the dim light, confirmed his receiver was leading him in the right direction. It impelled him to scurry on, at once both fearful to find the end of the trail and anxious to end the search as soon as possible.

Emotions vacillated between dire trepidation over his friend's safety, and anger at Napoleon for his usual rash heroics. He had never wanted Napoleon's sacrifice at his feet, yet it had happened. And they weren't even official partners anymore!  He hoped beyond all reason that he would find his partner only slightly damaged, but feared journey's end would prove he was too late. Fleetingly it occurred to him that he was trailing an enemy agent and at the conclusion there would be exposure. The thought of capture held no anxiety. The prospect of a gun battle -- or hand-to-hand combat with the fiends imperiling his friend -- lent him a surge of adrenaline.

Labored breathing caught him up short. It seemed fanciful, but he recognized the timbre, the struggling tone of all too familiar wheezing.

"Napoleon?"

"Illya," came the scratchy croak, followed by a dry laugh. "About time."

Smears of red veered off the sidewalk and down the basement steps of a lower apartment that, like the rest of the block, was abandoned. Illya swung around and jumped down the steps. The huddled form in the deep shadows was barely visible, but the arduous breathing, the hunch of the shoulders was all too recognizable to the Russian.

Dropping to his knees he slid next to his friend, tossing the receiver onto the ground. Napoleon was quietly groaning/breathing through chattering teeth. His shoulders were trembling, his eyes tightly shut. Solo's face was partially blackened and swollen on the right side, lacerations trailed the hairline, covered his cheek, neck and along his face. From what the agent could see red stained the singed white shirt under the torn coat.

The usual tendency to quip away the grim injuries died instantly. "You were caught in the explosion." Kuryakin scarcely croaked the useless, obvious perception, his voice nearly inaudible. He placed a careful hold on Solo's shivering shoulder. At least his friend was alive, but just barely it seemed.

Solo very slowly shook his head. "Tired." He blinked, apparently trying to focus. "Nothing left." Again, Solo shook his head. "Hitman -- wounded -- still -- out -- there."

Kuryakin gripped his Walther and raised to peer up at the street level. No sign of any movement. "I don’t see anyone." He crouched down next to his friend. "It's all right." Illya bit his lip. His friend was in shock, possibly suffering from head injuries due to the car explosion. Other, more serious wounds were likely. "Why didn't you call? I had to find you through your ring transmitter. Even that wasn't very effective."

"No time. Then -- smash up."

With slow, cautious moves he checked under Solo's jacket to find wounds. Blood spread over most of the senior agent's clothes so it was impossible to discern specific injuries. Just enough to know Napoleon's condition was desperate. He didn't want to move his friend or do anything to hurt him further, but he should see what he could do.

Caustic anger whipped out automatically. "Where aren't you hit?"

"Don't know."

The lighting was so bad he could hardly see anything. It seemed useless, and painful for Napoleon, to try any kind of first aid. Blood caked Solo's right hand, obscuring his homing ring. The instrumentation was undoubtedly damaged in the explosion. At least it worked enough to get him here. He shivered at the thought of how near a thing it was anyway. Their luck was running way too thin. He removed his coat, shoulder holster and white shirt. Using the material as a wadded bandage he covered the blood oozing from an injury on the side of Solo's torso. When he applied pressure his friend yelped out, but Illya held it firm, using his tie to secure the crude compress. It was impossible to know how serious the damage was. Moving his friend slightly he checked for more wounds and noted more lacerations.

"Too tired. Too many. Lost -- my gun. Ran."

"I'm calling for help." Illya held onto his friend with one hand and with the other reached into his coat for his communicator.

Taking a deep breath, wincing, Solo blinked his eyes open. He attempted a smile and patted Illya's hand, and the Russian held tight to the trembling wrist. "Knew you -- would -- come."

Kuryakin cleared his throat and maintained the connection with his comrade for a moment. "Of course. Where else would I be?"

Napoleon gave a curt nod.

Gunshots ricocheted around them and Illya grabbed Solo, throwing him through the broken window next to them. Dragging his partner along the floor of the abandoned building, he returned fire in a sporadic and inefficient resistance as he used the wall as a barricade. Shots riddled the room, splintering the plaster and Illya dragged Solo farther away, into a second room. This area was littered with trash, as if the repair crews had simply left. Vandals had torn out fixtures and parts of walls. There was no cover there.

Illya patted his pocket for his communicator, then growled under his breath when he realized, in the impromptu retreat, he had must have dropped it. Out on the steps where he had left his coat containing Napoleon’s Walther, ammo clips and several hidden explosives. Unbelievable! Sometimes he wondered how he and his partner could call themselves professionals! At least he had remembered to bring his pistol!

Forcing his mind to work on the problem and not allow his self-anger to cloud his reason, he determined he could wait at the doorway and keep the assailant at bay, but that was a defensive posture. Napoleon needed to get out of here immediately. Spying the wrecked wall at the back of the room, Illya carried/pulled Solo through the gap and into another apartment. The area was a warren of derelict buildings. All they had to do was make their way through to the street and find a phone.

The hitman had the same idea. A figure dashed past the dirty window outside. Was there more than one enemy? If there was only one he had guessed Illya's plan. If two, there was one flanking them, with still one pursuing them through the building. Then they were trapped. Kuryakin found cover behind a pile of boards and construction debris as shots from the adjacent room rained in on them. He wedged Solo into a protective corner of stacked lumber and supplies.

"All right?" Illya whispered after the firing stopped.

"Uggh," Solo moaned. "Let's not -- do that -- again."

Illya peered out to the street. No sign of their assailant, but that meant little. "Your renegade hitman just multiplied. And neither seems very wounded."

"Didn't hit -- us."

"Mmm," the Russian scowled. A shadow passed across the broken window. Kuryakin shot at it, then turned to return fire to the gunman in the other room until his clip ran out. Quickly he switched to the second and last clip and pulled back the slide of the Walther, ready to shoot. Cornered, low on bullets, his friend bleeding and suffering. This was not the kind of rescue he had envisioned. "We have to get you out of here."

"Would be -- nice." A crooked grin twitched on his lips. "At least -- together again."

"And in trouble. As usual."

Checking his friend, Kuryakin could determine nothing useful except that Solo was in pain now intense enough to filter past the numbness of shock. Little expiration moans of pain escaped his blood-caked lips. The hurried escape had aggravated his injuries, perhaps created some new problems. Searching Solo's pockets for an extra clip he found one in the soppy right coat. When he brought his blood-covered hand out he cringed, wiping the clip on his coat. The figure outside moved to the door and Kuryakin splintered it with fire. More shots came in and Illya defended them, again emptying the clip. He reloaded, then holstered his weapon.

Silence.  He waited long moments.  No sign of their assailant.  No sound. Anxious, directing some of his attention to his friend, he touched Solo's cool, clammy forehead. "Stay with me Napoleon."

"Mmmm."

"Couldn't you get trapped in a civilized part of town?"

"Chase."

"Yes, you led them a merry chase right into the middle of nowhere." He growled with exasperated anger. "Next time, drive into downtown Westwood instead of condemned neighborhoods."

Instantly remorseful for his biting sarcasm, he sighed and studied his partner. His friend stared at him with dispassionate resignation -- the fatigue and pain robbing him of his usual vitality. Leaving him only with the basest instinct to survive -- to endure and wait out the pain. Illya vowed to himself to give his friend more than that -- to make sure he lived.  To reward him with survival for sacrificing himself all too willingly.

"Sorry. I'm not mad at you. It's just so frustrating. You did this to protect me."

Sadly, Solo shook his head slightly. "Now -- you -- danger. Wish -- you -- safe. Hitman after -- you."

"Don't worry about me. I'm going to get him, then get us out of here. I promise."

Kuryakin returned to studying the window and the doorway. It was too quiet. He wondered if he should try making a break for another apartment. That would mean leaving Napoleon alone and unarmed while he scouted out the next room. That was not an appealing thought. Now that he was back with his partner he was not about to abandon the wounded man.

"All went wrong," Solo whispered.

"What happened?"

"Ambush -- took out -- front of car." Solo's eyes remained open and he stared at his friend, but the expression was glazed. "Emerson -- Wong. Dead. Rhys -- ran. Shot." He shook his head and took a deep breath. "All wrong. No coordination -- doesn't work without you --"

Kuryakin felt sick inside, understanding what his friend was trying to piece together.  Studying the suffering brown eyes he miserably admitted, "I know."

"Rhys. Wrong moves. Not like you." The inhalation was more labored and the words were harder to draw out.

Grimacing at the obvious pain Solo was enduring, he brushed his fingers on the cool, scratched face. "Don't talk. Just concentrate on breathing."

"Didn't know --" He gulped in air. "Not -- team -- "

Illya cut him off. "Shut up, Napoleon, please."

With a shaky hand Solo grabbed onto his friend's fingers. "Not -- the same -- need you back."

In the crush of activity and danger, Illya had kept his deepest fears at bay. On the search for his friend he had been in motion; seeking, watching, hoping. Finding him alive was wonderful, but tempered with the horrible anxiety over his appalling wounds.  To endure the irritation of the team being split. To go through the agony of the decoy mission knowing his friend was at risk to protect him and he could do nothing! Then for the assignment to end like this! It was all infuriating and sickening.

The partnership was the center of their lives and Illya understood breaking up the team had probably caused this terrible debacle. They knew each other's moves and thoughts. They kept each other alive. Tonight, Illya had caused this. Not just because of his absence from the partnership, but because he was the one Napoleon was duty-bound to protect!

"I should have never let you go through with this."

The anemic shadow of a grin played on his wan lips. "Couldn't -- stop -- me." He took a shuddering breath and coughed, trembling with the effort to get more air. "Plan worked.”

“Divide and conquer,” the Russian scoffed bitterly.  “If this is your idea of a success, my friend, then I shudder to think of your Waterloo.”

“I promised we'd -- be back together.  I -- always -- deliver."

"Napoleon --"

"Prove -- Waverly -- wrong --" Blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth.

"We will, my friend. Just stay with me." Chilled with dread, he gingerly touched around Napoleon's chest. "A lung is probably hit."

Napoleon grabbed onto the younger man's wrist. "Don't -- bother --"

Shivering with cold dread, he realized Solo was obstructing him from discovering the extent of the injuries. His throat so dry with denial he could hardly speak. "How bad?"

"Can't wait too -- too long." A smile twitched on his lips and he patted Illya's hand. "Worth it -- you -- safe."

"No," Kuryakin denied, miserable.

He coughed, more blood dribbling out of his mouth. "Do anything -- for you."

"I know," his voice cracked in a trembling response. "But it should have never come to this."

"I'm -- expendable."

Illya's eyes burned at the terrible results of a partnership that they had fought to save. This was their choice and it would destroy them. "Not to me. Never to me." He leaned his head against Solo's. "This is my fault."

He had wanted Napoleon back at his side, but never like this.  Natural pessimism clouded his emotions and he could not condemn himself enough for causing this tragedy.

"Then you -- better -- get us -- out -- or reputation -- ruined."

Holding tightly to his friend, he was grateful for Napoleon's bolstering word, as he always was. He suppressed the trembling fear nearly consuming him. Fear that he would lose his friend. He had to do something very quickly or his friend would die. He WOULD get them out of this, because the alternative was unconscionable. The shadow appeared at the window again and before Illya could fire, gunshots echoed outside. Not directed at them! The figure near the window fell with a groaning thud.

"Kuryakin? Are you in there?"

The Aussie accent was unmistakable. "Bakker! In here! Call for an ambulance. Napoleon is badly hurt."  He nearly laughed at the amazing rescue.  Glancing at Solo he patted his shoulder.  “The cavalry has arrived.”

“No Waterloo . . . “

“No.  Not this time,” he agreed, relief flooding through the trite acknowledgement.

A tall figure came through the broken glass. Strangely, he stood there to the side of the window, just along the shadow line.

"Call headquarters. My communicator is lost. Napoleon's was damaged." Illya barked the orders as he came to his knees. Pocketing the Walther, he paused, his senses on full alert. Something was not right. "Bakker?"

The agent stepped a few paces closer, but remained mostly obscured from the dim moonlight.

"What happened at the hospital? Is Ian all right?"

"Ian?" The voice was cold. "Oh, he's just fine. Yeah. For a dead man!”  He lurched forward.  “I just came from identifying the torn, bloody body of my lad!" Coming closer, caught in a shaft of light, he seemed a looming, avenging giant with his face contorted in grief, livid with rage. A Walther was gripped in his right hand and pointed at Illya. "You did it!" His voice cracking, the shout echoed in the hollow room. "You killed Ian!"

Kuryakin could only shake his head.

Bakker stepped closer his weapon still targeting Kuryakin. "Ian was protecting you!" He walked around until he was within sight of Napoleon as well. "Solo was supposed to watch out for him!" He aimed his pistol at the downed operative. "You were supposed to keep him safe! You promised! But you saved yourself! And they killed him!" Tears streamed down his face. "He was like my brother! You killed the partner I loved!" Shakily the pistol swung around, aimed at Illya's face. "Now I'll kill you." He ripped the Walther from Illya's holster, then tried to shove him away with an angry throw, but Kuryakin slipped out of the hold and backed closer to Solo.

"Not -- his -- fault --" Solo groaned and struggled to sit up.

The pistol shifted to aim at Solo. "Murderer!"

"He fought --" he gasped for air. "Couldn’t -- save --"

"Bakker, this is insane!" Illya gently leaned his friend against the wall, staying protectively in front of him.

"You left him to die and you ran away!"

Napoleon shook his head.

Bakker yanked Illya to the side and kicked Solo, who hissed out a cry of pain. "You promised you would keep him safe!" Illya shoved away the big man, but stopped short of another assault when the Walther barrel was jammed against his forehead. "I'll kill you both."

"No --" Napoleon gasped.

"Nothing can save you," Bakker insisted, tears glistening his face. He pushed Illya down to the floor and brought the gun to rest at Solo's throat. "I'm killing you first. He went with you and it got him killed. Then I'm killing your partner, because this was all for him."

"No --" Napoleon gasped tightly.

"You going to beg for mercy? Ian didn't I'll wager. He didn't have time for anything thanks to you."

"Ian -- last words -- for -- you --"

"What ?" Bakker caught back a sob. The pistol wavered.

Illya swiftly scrambled over.  Bakker shifted the weapon toward him. Undaunted, he scooted over to sit near his friend. Napoleon placed a hand on Illya's shoulder and gave him a weak shove. "Let -- Illya -- go -- then -- I'll talk --"

"No," Kuryakin refused and placed himself squarely in front of his partner. "You're not going to hurt Napoleon --"

"He was supposed to take care of Ian! And he let my friend die!" The weapon shook toward the Russian. "You -- he was pretending to be you!" The Walther veered back to Solo. "But he was there! He should have saved Ian!"

"We're on the same team," Illya reasoned desperately. "How can you kill fellow UNCLE agents?"

"Hate," was the simple, shaky reply. "You can't understand how I hate you for what you took from me."

A thin tendril of calm snaked through the horror of the moment. "I understand," Kuryakin assured in a dry whisper. "Completely."

Napoleon leaned his head on Kuryakin's back, drained of the extra vitality needed to stay upright. Now he was fighting just to breathe, just to hang on to life for a few more moments. "Let Illya -- go. Only way -- hear -- last words --"

"No!" Kuryakin barked.

Placing his red-stained hand over his friend's mouth, Solo declared, "Only way -- hurry -- don't have much -- time -- going -- gut shot -- going -- fast --"

Ignoring their enemy, Kuryakin turned slightly, clutching the sagging agent who could only hold on in a weak grip. "I can't leave you here to die. I won't leave you."

Bakker's quiet sobs turned to hideous laughter. Kuryakin was violently yanked away from his friend, gun in his face. "I really wanted you dead, Kuryakin. This is all your fault." He glanced at Solo, who was huddled on the floor. "But this is better. You're leaving," he commanded Illya.

"No."

"Yes," Bakker smiled. It was a wicked leer couched in a ravaged face holding raving-mad eyes. "Yes, this is so much better."

Tears were still streamed from his eyes. In the half-light he was a grotesque figure -- maniacal and deranged from anger and pain. What was really horrifying was that Illya not only empathized with the turbulent, violent emotions, but he was feeling them himself. His friend was dying and for what? He might be able to still save him -- but that was a very thin hope. The man he loved like a brother was bleeding to death and what could he do to make a difference?  A man who had lost his brother was going to compound the tragedy and he didn’t even understand how completely ironic and senseless it all was.

"You will have to kill me, too." The certainty, the resolution was unshakable and Illya hoped the hardness of his resolve was reflected in his eyes.

Bakker recognized it and nodded. "I'd love to. Solo won't allow it. But I can hurt you --"

"Not -- if -- you -- want -- dying -- words --" Napoleon grated, struggling up on his elbow to lean against the wall. "He -- must --be -- free --" he wheezed. "Illya -- go --"

"No." He moved to an angle where Solo could see his face. "Do you think I would leave you here to be murdered?"

Livid, Bakker attacked, viciously hitting Kuryakin across the jaw with the pistol. Illya fell back, crashing into a broken door. "Ian's dying words are all I have left!" he screamed, clutching Illya's collar, nearly strangling him in the grip. "I'm going to hear them! You won't keep me from hearing them!" Flinging Illya down he stalked back and stood over the wounded agent. "You leave now, Kuryakin, or I'll shoot him! Not kill, just wound. You run and get help and maybe by the time you get back he'll still be alive."

Staggering to his feet, Illya stared at his friend. Napoleon gave him a wink and a nod, motioning for him to go. He shook his head, indicating he could not flee.

"I'll give you a count of three." Connor stepped over and placed the tip of the barrel on Napoleon's shoulder.

"If you injure him more he won't be able to tell you anything. He's already in shock. His lungs are filling with blood! His stomach wound --"

"He'll tell me, believe me," his voice hard and cruel. "Ian's words are the only thing that will keep me from hunting you down and shooting you like the dingo you are. Solo knows that." He glared at the downed man. "Don't you? That's your plan, right? You and your big plans! Look where they've left us!"

"If it's any consolation, I hate this plan, too," Illya condemned heartily, but the others ignored him.

Solo weakly gestured. "Go," he pleaded with his partner.

Hardly able to whisper, Kuryakin stared at him. "He'll kill you."

"Go."

Trying for a last level of sanity, he searched Bakker's face for some sign of lingering humanity. "You'll condemn me to what you have become. Alone. Without a chance to save the person most important to me. Not even the comfort of being with my partner at the end."

"That is your part of the punishment." He glanced at the senior agent. "His will be dying." He wiped at his damp face. "It won't bring Ian back, but it will be a little bit of justice."

Once more the Russian tried a last, desperate option. It might get them both killed, but they were so close to the brink now one more risk hardly seemed to matter. They had nothing to lose. HE had nothing to lose. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he abandoned his friend and returned to find and Napoleon dead. "Napoleon is lying," Illya scornfully shot back. "He's doing this to save me."

Solo managed a weak glare at his friend. Bakker seemed unaffected by the accusation. "Don't you think I suspect that? But I have to take the chance and believe he's the keeper of Ian's last words to me. It's the only piece of my mate that I have left." He pulled the hammer back on the pistol. "I'm going to count to three."

"No --"

He couldn't overpower Connor.  Couldn't rush the insane man with the weapon.  Neither could he conceive of leaving his friend to die. But he could not stand here and watch as Bakker shot Solo. That was the reason he had to follow. It would be fatal for Napoleon to receive any more injuries and blood loss. On the other hand, if he could return to the steps where he found Napoleon, he could get Solo's pistol and the ammo clips from his coat and come back and take out Bakker. It was a slim chance, but the only one they had.

"One."

Illya backed to the door, hatefully staring at Bakker, alternately throwing Solo disgusted, angry looks. Always mentally searching for a trick, a final slight-of-hand trick that would save them this time.

"Two."

Through the doorway Illya gave his friend one last glare. Napoleon offered a nod. Then Illya slipped out, running at top speed for the abandoned building where he had left his jacket. If he could just find the Walther --

A shot rang out on the still air. Before his heart could beat again another shot echoed. Spinning around he raced back to the old rooms, smashing through the clutter with reckless disregard. Panic spurring his feet he tore through to the back where he had left his friend.  Bakker's form was sprawled on the floor, red smeared across his forehead, eyes staring lifelessly at the ceiling. Illya raced past, scooping up the pistol, moving on to Solo without hesitation. His bleeding partner was folded in the corner, still and pale in the dim light. Still bleeding. He touched Solo's face. Cool, but still breathing.  Alive.

Numb, shaking, Illya scrambled back and retrieved Bakker's communicator. He ordered an ambulance to come immediately. Falling to the floor he kept his hand on Solo's stomach wound. There was nothing he could do about the lung damage, but he kept his friend at an angle to help the labored breathing. Detached, too shocked to feel anything, he remained controlled and strangely calm as they waited.

What had happened during the few moments he had left? Both Solo and Bakker were in different places. Did Napoleon try to put up a struggle in some weak and hopeless survival effort? Did Bakker try to kill him because he knew Napoleon was lying about the last words? Did any of it even matter? While the blood dearest to him dripped through his fingers, he wondered if any of it mattered at all?

Warm tears coursed his cheeks and he quietly sobbed, afraid of what the next few moments would bring. He was all too aware of his intimate comparison to the dead agent a few meters away.

 

****

"Well, I finally made it back to New York Headquarters, didn't I?"

Kuryakin stood abruptly, surprised at the sudden appearance of Solo in his office. The American was walking with the use of a cane, but still managing to stay on his feet. He had only been out of the hospital a few days and Illya had not expected to see him here at HQ so soon. He hurried over to stand beside his friend, but offered no assistance. While Solo's internal injuries had not been as desperate as Illya thought that horrific night in LA, the wounds were serious enough. Two weeks in the hospital was enough to put him back on his feet, but limited duty would not continue for Solo for another few weeks.

"You always do things the hard way," he reminded blandly, repressing the urge to help the wounded man to the nearest chair.

With slow steps Solo laboriously made his way across the office to the sofa. Easing himself down, he offered a tight smile. "Makes more of an impression that way."

Keeping his tone dry, he replied, "Yes, you have certainly made yourself unforgettable, Napoleon."

That was an inane understatement. Solo's decoy methods and Kuryakin's successful courier assignment had virtually ended the reign of THRUSH as an organized criminal unit. The coup added more accolades to their already legendary careers.

Personally, Kuryakin felt it less than a victory. They had endured an ugly side of human desperation that hit all too close to home. He had come so close to losing Napoleon under the worst imaginable circumstances. Last night, at dinner, Solo had joked that they would be able to demand anything from UNCLE and Waverly now, but Illya hardly felt the reward worth the terrible price. In his opinion, no mission, and no trade off -- not even his own life -- was worth his friend's life. While all agents had always been considered expendable, he could never accept that for Napoleon.

Solo's smug smile promised more plots and Illya felt a cold wave of trepidation sweep over him. Sometimes their partnership worried him. The single person on earth that he did not want to live without was perfectly willing to throw his life away for him.  How could he live with that?  How DID he live with that for so many years during their partnership?  How could they ever reunite under those circumstances? Because the benefits of the team far outweighed the anxieties.  And working together was what he wanted more than anything else.

"You're not going to ask why I'm here this morning?"

Illya's throat was tight and dry. "No, you are entirely too smug."

Solo's whole demeanor slumped, then almost instantly rebounded. "You just don't want to admit I'm right."

"About?"

"Waverly, of course." Napoleon grinned triumphantly. "I had an appointment with him.”

“Oh.” 

Illya purposely refrained from any outward reaction.  Solo’s enthusiasm meant it was good news.  Perversely, getting back into the groove of their old tug-of-war relationship, he refused to make this easy.

“Well, don’t you want to know what happened?”

Seemingly disinterested, Kuryakin strolled back toward his desk.  “What?”

“I'm sorry to say you're being demoted." There was no trace of regret in his smiling countenance. "I'm getting my old job back at the end of the month." He tapped the cane on the floor. "As soon as I'm fit for duty." Completely self-satisfied, he seemed energized just talking about his achievement. "Waverly agrees we work better together so the partnership is official again."

Illya was almost tempted to reject the offer. After living through the horror of abject sacrifice from his friend -- the insane extremes of Bakker -- he was apprehensive about the responsibility.

Assuring his expression was a mask of calm, he felt the weight of the solemn trust between them. Solo was recharged and exuberant -- nearly like his old self -- from the prospect of reforming their partnership. How could he feel that carefree after what they had been through? Because in his own way he felt, as Illya did, that whatever they experienced -- good or bad -- it was easier when shared with a friend. In the future, however, there had to be one proviso. He had to keep Solo in check -- protect him from his worst weaknesses. Well, that shouldn't be difficult, he had been doing that for many years now.

"Just one thing," Illya suggested cagily as he leaned against the back of the chair.

"What's that?"

"No one is expendable."

"Deal," Solo agreed with a smile and held out his hand. Illya shook. "Now, let's see if we can talk Waverly into letting you come back to LA to help me pack."

Rolling his eyes at the absurdity, Illya shook his head. "I think your medication has made you delirious."

Casually, Solo reminded, "Remember my apartment at the beach? I'll be sorry to give that up. Sweet bachelor pad. I promise it will be worth the effort if you help me move. Do you remember Bambi?  She likes you."

"The blond receptionist?"

"Exactly. Besides, Waverly owes us."

A debt no one could ever repay, Illya felt, after all that had transpired. "Yes, he does," he agreed, as always, unable to resist his friend's infectious optimism.

The enthusiasm was beginning to absorb into his dark thoughts, replacing the depression with hope.  As Solo usually did. Yes, after all they had been through they did deserve to be partners again.

 

THE END

 

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